Or out, anyway.
Yesterday I was laid off from my job. Yep. At 5+ months pregnant this was perfect timing. Out of the blue I was called into a conference room and handed paperwork stating that I agreed to this mutual severence of employment.
My immediate response was:
Are you joking?
I really did think it was a joke. It sounds like a joke right? Ha, ha. Funny.
No funny. Nobody laughed. I felt the babies kick - hard. I think they were trying to reach out of my belly to kick the woman sitting across from me who was spewing this crap. And who could blame them? They're good boys, sticking up for their mommy.
I was then hovered over while I gathered my things and escorted to the elevator. Insult on top of injury. It felt oh, so good.
Then I carry my sorry grocery bag full of desk-top photographs of Mrs. Jinx and Godzilla, Ernie climbing some rocks, a bud vase (why did I have that at work again?) and various other sundries to the sidewalk. And there I stood. What exactly does one do when they have just been "let go"?
I called Ernie. I won't even get into that conversation. If you know Ernie or if you have been reading this blog for a while you can very well imagine his reaction. 'Nuff said.
Now I am sitting in my kitchen when I should be at my desk. I don't know what to do with myself. I have reactivated my resume on Monster and HotJobs. Checked the calssifieds. But be honest, would you hire a woman who is 5 months pregnant?
I am trying very hard to remain positive. Stress is no good for babies. So, collective Ohm, exhale....ahhhh better now.
My dad, in his ever-passive philosophy tells me "Don't worry about it"
In all fairness, it wasn't only I who was let go. From what I heard on IM last night between Alias and LOST, there were three of us yesterday, and one last week. Seems the company is facing financial hardship. So let's lay off the pregnant woman who needs every lick of health benefits she can get right now! Sounds like a dandy idea.
But I digress.
I don't want to be a whiner, but too bad. Who can blame me right now. I am very much out of sorts and freaking out just a tad. And besides, how can they do this to me? Pregnant or not? I thought these people were my friends? We were in the trenches together for two years damn it. I helped them grow a start-up from 16 people to more than 50! This wasn't just a ho-hum job, I was personally vested and I thought they were too.
Business is business, no matter what it may appear. I guess this is a lesson I have still to learn. It just seems so cold and heartless to go to work every day thinking that every relationship and every conversation you have is a bunch of bullshit. That everyone is just vying for their job and you'd better be too. I just can't feel good in that sort of environment, and I suppose that is why I always choose to deny it.
Well, if anyone knows of an opening in Search Engine or Interactive Marketing, preferably in CT (but I can't be too picky right now, can I?), please let me know. In the meantime I might just have to call Mary Kay...
Really though, I did have a second interview with a great company in CT just the day before the lay-off. I had a feeling things were about to change and I wanted to be closer to home anyway. Things happen for a reason so they say. I have a good feeling about the interview and think this may just be perfect timing. It is just the surprise of it all that sucks.