I told him I wanted a divorce and he told me I was just stressed out. I decided he was right and then he wrestled me to the ground (If you don't get it, then you just have to click on the link and figure it out for yourselves).
Today is actually the true Festivus, we just decided to start a day early because I was already pissed off. Well, it worked and now we are all made-up and having our Festivus Feast - well, if you can call a bottle of Pinot Noir a feast. Last night we ordered a deluxe pizza after the AOG, so maybe you can call that the Festivus Feast, if you want.
You can actually buy a Festivus Pole, but we didn't this year. This year it was really more about the AOG than anaything else. Maybe next year we can do the pole thing. I think it can double as a vertical bike rack the rest of the year, or a prop for a stripper, depending.
You may be surprised to know that Festivus is a true holiday. I guess it is a way to clear out all of the old crap so that you don't carry any grudges or negative crap into the new year. It allows you to accept the Christmas, Hanukkah (MSWord spells it with one K, Google spells it with two) or Kwanza presents without any guilt, because you can really feel like you like, or even love, the person who is giving it to you (now that you've gotten all those grievances out in the open).
I have to say that I don't have many disappointements to air to all of you. You have all been faithful Blog readers this year.
I guess do feel that you could contribute more, though. It would be nice if someone wrote back once in a while. I mean, Tony C. tries every so often, and when he does it is a pisser (I know I have been using the adjective/adverb piss a lot in this post. Ernie just told me that Tony C. used to be in a band called Piss. How cool. Would love to hear some of that). But come on. Linda? Hello! I know you are reading this. Why don't you ever write? Randy? Steph? What gives? Are you guys all take and no give? Show me the love. And what about my dearest, who loves to be a backseat blogger but won't ever step up to the plate himself? MIL? You too...
Anne - your write so well, you're blog kills me every time, and I rarely write to you, so I won't include you in this airing. But Josette is another story, and I have no way to know whether or not Aunt Francie has been lurking here....
Now that I have a house - even though I don't live in it - I vow to hold the yearly Festivus. On Dec 23rd we will gather to honestly Air Our Grievances and then show feats of strength before enjoying a Feast and exchanging crappy re-gifted Festivus gifts.
Then we will all get drunk on Boil-o (photo courtesy of Google Images - Michael, you should be careful what you send to the nether regions of the internet - don't blame me Josette, I almost pissed my pants when I searched Boilo on Google Images and it gave me this...) and wake-up two days later to a truly Happy Holiday.