Wednesday, November 09, 2005

What the?

Upside down Christmas Trees?

Now I am convinced it is the end of the world. Or at least the end of intelligence on this planet - or at least in this country.

What the fuck?And it's $499!

This is no joke. I wish it were. There was actually a story about it in Yahoo! News this morning.

The argument for this innovative new product goes something like this:

this unique 7' pre-lit fir is inverted to ensure a smaller footprint for less-spacious areas, and allowing more room for the accumulation of presents underneath

Oh goodie. More room for larger and a greater number of presents. Maybe this idea was brought to us by our friends at Wal-Mart: Wouldn't want to stifle consumerism this holiday season by limiting the number of large gifts that can fit under anyone's tree. Right?

I guess to be fair I should mention that some web sites claim this was the original 12th Century tradition. But, whatever.

Here're my questions

1. Can any Christmas Tree be turned upside down and hung from the ceiling - or do you have to buy an entirely new tree made for this purpose?
2. If you do indeed need to purchase a whole new tree, can old rightside-up trees be traded in towards a new upside down one? Sort of like the Government plans to do with the new digital TVs?
3. Will people now need to install Upside Down Christmas Tree brackets on their walls and/or ceilings?
4. If so, will these brackets become standard features in new McMansions?
5. Is it gauche to hang a silver or white Christmas Tree upside down? Is it only fashionable to have a natural fake upside down tree?

I suppose for those of us living in small urban apartments (recently reduced, by the way...) this will become all the rage, since all of the promotional material touts these upside down trees as being perfect for "...using a minimum of floor space, the unusual tapering shape allows the tree to stand in places that do not accommodate a traditional holiday tree, such as between two armchairs or in a corner." But if I see one in anyone's place this holiday season - and there is drinking involved - I might just have to turn the thing rightside up.


Anonymous said...

Plus, doesn't it look like pubes?

nadzent said...

Hmmmm...I suppose you could say that