Back to Work

Today is my first day back to work. How weird.

I am working in my "home office", which is my diningroom table. Ernie is upstairs with the babies. I know he is supposed to be "watching" them, but I hear his music loud and clear so I know he is actually working in the studio. I want so badly to go up there to check on them but I am going to let him be the responsible daddy and I will trust that he is checking on them from time to time. My fear is that he has them in their swings in the next room and is leaving them there while he works, regardless of whether or not they are crying, choking, being eaten by the cats...

Really, I know he can handle it. He keeps telling me he can.

So back to work. It is nice to be in contact with grown ups. It is nice to look at spread sheets and to play with other people's money. Ahhhhhh....like therapy. It is like meditating. What a nice break from baby duty.

But really, I do miss the boys. It is strange to not be holding them all day long. I hear them crying right now...I think he stopped the music. Is he going to check? Hmmmmmmm.........nope. The music just came back on, and the crying got louder. Shit. Go check on your sons man!

Don't make me go up there. I don't want to usurp you...

OK, I think he's got them now. Crying stopped. Music started. It soothes the savage beast and all that. It's true with babies too apparently.

I think this working thing is going to be OK. At least until I have to actually GO to the office. Now that will be difficult...luckily I have about a month before I have to consider that. We have expanded so quickly that my former office has been recommissioned and there is no place for me to work until we move in December.

So this marks the end of my maternity leave. So sad, really. You only get to do it once in the lifetime of your children, and here it has already passed.

The Geekification of Boys

My husband is bent on grooming a couple of geeks. Dorks even. My boys, the Adzentoivich Geeks. All three of them.

This morning I awoke to the sounds of Captain Beefheart. Who is Captain Beefheart? you may ask. Well, if you are a Frank Zappa fan then you must know Captain Beefheart. He was part of the original Zappa thing. I think he played the guitar or something. He writes lyrics like "the mascara snake in the rollo-barrel sniffed the perfume and said BAM!"(sic.) More spoke word than singing. And the musical accompaniment is more a caucophony of dissonent sounds and screaming guitar. Folks, this is geekier than Frank Zappa. I mean, you have to dig deeper than Zappa to find "The Captain", as Ernie so lovingly refers to him.

Yes, he was sitting there in the studio with the baby on his lap playing Captain Beefheart on iTunes.

Next I wholly expect to come home from work to see them watching Monty Python. I mean, we do own the complete set of The Flying Circus on DVD. I have to take partial blame for that. I bought it for Ernie two Christmases ago. And I did take him to see Spamalot for his birthday a year ago. What was I thinking?

Somehow I didn't foresee the ramifications of my actions. I mean, I wasn't even pregnant at the time, so give me a break. And if I were I couldnt' have known I would have a boy, let alone TWO boys. I mean, with a girl none of these things would have mattered. Ernie would have been too mesmerized and terrified by her to try to influence her tastes like this.

I asked Ernie if he was going to get them into an online game of D&D next, just to finish the project. He informed me (silly me) that no, in fact it is the World of Warcraft community which they will become members of. Hmmm. I have never played this game, but I must admit to spending pre-baby hours at The SIMS and The Movies not to mention Civilization. But I never joined any of the online gaming communities (though I do get The Sims e-newsletter). So I suppose I am not completely blameless here either.

But STILL.

Now they are listening to something about fish eyes and bumblebees "...From here to there it ain't far enough and from here to here is too short..." see what I mean? On the way to total geekdom.

I can see what is going to happen. As soon as the boys can speak the three of them are going to start quoting all of these obscure references and I will be left smirking, pretending to understand what they are talking about. Forcing a laugh even though I have no idea why what they are saying is funny. Sort of like my relationship with Mark Goldstein in high school. A completely brilliant and creative kid with an afro who wore a Members Only jacket every day and drove a huge boat of a car with Zappa blasting. Sometimes he gave me a ride to school and his sister and I would roll our eyes in the back seat. Sort of like that. Me, trying to be cool by understanding the Geeks among us.

Of the freaks and geeks, I was always more likely to be a freak who tried to "fit in" with the geeks. Now that I think of it, why? I guess I liked being the cool girl who was able to fit in with all of the other crowds as well. I mean, I did watch Life of Brian and The Holy Grail many times to try to understand what the hell was so funny when someone would say "...I can't eat another bite" or "...Wafer thin", and of course "Nee!" But I balanced it out with multiple viewings of The Wall. I never went to the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I bet if they still have it around here Ernie will be taking the twins as soon as they are able to hold their heads upright on their own.

I see my future, and it is filled with obscure comedy.

Fellini anyone?

National Blog Posting Month

Takes place in November. You can find out more about it here .

I plan to take part in an attempt to get myself to write and think about things other than my babies. Not that my babies aren't wonderful and don't deserve my undivided attention, but I am going a little batty already. Just yesterday I found myself talking baby talk while holding one and rocking the other in his bouncy seat with my foot. When the baby talk stopped working I moved on to singing. My forte is a fine medley of songs ranging from "The Gambler" (Kenny Rogers) and On My Own" (Les Miserables), to "She's A Grand Old Flag" (traditional) and "Can't Go Home" (Bon Jovi). Only the choruses of course, because really who can recall an entire song on spot with no accompaniment? I have found that I cannot.

So I am going to attempt to post on this blog every day in the month of November. Thanks for your support.

Finally...

2 months have passed since I gave birth to my terrific, adorable, amazing twin boys. Two months since I had my abdomen cut open and two squirmy little humans were extracted from my womb. Two months since I have slept more than two consecutive hours. Two months since I went to work, ergo two months since I have had a paycheck. Two months since I began referring to myself as "mommy"; "mommy will be right back", "mommy needs to take a nap", "burp for mommy', "mommy will change your diaper as soon as she feeds your brother", "tell mommy why you are crying"... Two months, eight weeks, 60 days. Wow. Time flies.

So today, after two months of motherhood, I was finally able to go for a run. I ran. One block. Walked. One block. Ran. Another block. Walked. Another block. Etc. It was AWESOME! Forget about the fact that my abdomen has the tone of a jello mold and my ab muscles do absolutely nothing to support my "core". I ignored the awkward heavy, jiggly feeling of my belly as I lifted my feet; left, right, left, right. Walk. I was hardly able to lift my knees enough to even look like a jogger let alone a runner, but I DID lift them. I did. Even if it was just a little bit. I ran.

Let's not forget that I was on strict limitation throughout my entire 9 months of pregnancy, add the past two months to that, and that brings you to just about a year of no activity other than walking up and down the stairs (sometimes). And then let's also remember that I didn't really exercise while trying to conceive because of the two miscarriages. It has truthfully been about two years since I had an honest to goodness workout. I hate to admit it, but it is true. The months just flew by and before you know it here we are.

But I am so happy to say that I finally got my body moving again. Got my heartrate up a little bit without the aid of two fetuses in-utero adding to the load. A good old fashioned aerobic workout.

How was I able to do this with two miniture men at home, you ask? Well, Grandma Wood and Aunt Joan came over and took the boys for a walk so that I could have some alone time to be Nancy again. I even got to shower after the run. Amazing.
I have paid for my independence however. Since Grandma left the boys have been extremely fussy to the point that I wonder if something could be wrong with them, until I realize that if I feed them they calm down. They are dramatically increasing their feedings and amounts of formula/milk they eat at each. In one day we went from 3oz to 4.5oz feedings. The only way to figure out how much they need in order to feel full is to keep adding ounces until they seem satisfied and stop crying. For some reason I always have the fear of over-feeding them - I hate to see them spit-up, and so I guess I don't feed them enough...I forget that they are growing and developing and that I must alter their diet accordingly.

I am finally talking about going back to work. Though I approach this with mixed feelings, as I am sure all new moms must. I am very excited to get back to my clients and to have grown-up conversations and interactions on a daily basis, but I also dread the day when I don't see my boys for 8 hours. Unfortunately, we are not yet wealthy enough for me to be a stay at home mom, and if we ever were I am not really and truly sure that I would want to be. But maybe just for this first year....

Finally, I am feeling more like myself and less like a baby-feeder/changer/cuddler/zombie. I am feeling more like mommy, nurturer/teacher/role model. Much more fitting to my psyche. Horrah!

What Else?

Can I talk about other than babies and being a mother? I hate to be such a bore. I am still more than a mom, right? I mean, right now I feel like nothing but a milk machine but I know the old me has got to be in there somewhere tucked away waiting to reemerge.

My husband is talking about joining some wild mushroom society in CT called COMA. He wants to get into COMA right now. It is the perfect season for it. I think he is looking for his inner-self too. Though I am not quite sure how rooting through dirt for mushrooms might do that. I don't think they are the mind-altering kind of mushrooms, or shrooms as you might call them. And I never knew him to be a big fan of mushrooms....maybe he's been sniffing too many baby diapers.

It makes me sad that the small plane crashed into the building on East 72nd Street in NYC. I used to work in the building next door, at the Strang Cancer Prevention Center, so I know the block very well. It is scary. But what makes me the most sad is that once they suspected that a sports celebrity was involved it became a "Great Tragedy". Before that it was simply the most interesting news story since the Amish school shootings and all of the media were crawling on it like little hungry ants. They were obviously looking for an angle to play: Flashback to 9/11, Terrorism, people trapped in the building, people hurt on the street, companies housed in the building that might be targets, accident or suicide, etc. Not once did I hear anyone refer to it as a tragedy, even though they knew there were two people killed the entire time. Not until they found out it was a Yankee, that is. Why was it not tragic when the pilot was just an unknown civilian? Are some lives worth more than others? The loss of one person more tragic than the loss of another? The media are really always looking for a way to market a story, even if it involves loss of life. It is very sad.

What else?

The fall TV season. Yes, I am watching lots of TV these days. My time spent outside the home has been drastically cut and my ability to do anything that takes two hands must come between feedings, which leaves me about 8 disjointed hours per day, including when I am asleep. So TV is the easiest way to pass the time while nurturing my wee babes.

TV.

I am loving Friday Night Lights. Loving it. The first episode presented a good case for not allowing your sons to play football. I love that Chandler guy. He used to be on another show when I was in college and my roommates and I used to classify him as "dreamy". Now that he is a bit older and a bit heavier he looks like my old boss, Josh. But he still has some of those dreamy-like qualities. Plus he is the compassionate, underdog coach, and that makes him even more appealing.

Men in Trees. OK, I know there are lots of Anne Heche haters out there. But I remember her from her soap opera days pre-Ellen. I always liked her and thought she had a very funky off-beat quality (which was proven during the post-ellen days). The writing of the show is very witty and she is funny. Plus I love that is it not a Lawyer, Police, Hospital show. It smacks a bit of Northern Exposure but what's wrong with that? I liked that show too.

Project Runway. This isn't really a new fall show, but I am so addicted! Ernie and I love to imitate Uli and Heidi. Love them. Will Jeffrey get screwed? I can't hardly wait until next week to find out. I hope Laura gets lots of stretch marks, that bitch...

LOST. Of course. This is a big hold out from last season. So far the first two episodes have been AWESOME. Now, I have heard people talking about the fake commercials that are on during LOST, but I don't think I have noticed them. Can anyone shed any light on this for me? And who fathered Sun's baby? And who is really in charge; Henry Gale ( hello...Dorothy's uncle?), or that chick with the blonde hair who brings Jack sandwiches?

30Rock. Watched this one for the first time last night. Funny. Loving Tina Fay, as always. I think this one will become a fave. And it is nice that it is only 30 minutes. Not a huge time commitment.

Then there is Earl and the Office. Faves from last season.

Then there are the MTV/VH1 reality shows that are so freaking funny.....total guilty pleasures that I watch only when I happen to catch them. I mean, it isn't like I know where they fall on the schedule and tune in each episode: Little Talent, Hogan Knows Best, Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl, My Super Sweet 16, etc. And what is up with Pants Off Dance Off?

Of course I love Million Dollar Listing on Bravo. And then there is National Open House on HGTV.

Am I pathetic? I know I am not the only one who loves fall television.

As soon as I go back to work we are getting a DVR so we can record even more shows. Then I will be able to watch Biggest Loser, which I love but is trumped by Desperate Housewives, which is on at the same time. Yeah, I am living large.

Grandparents Unite!

All of the Grandparents, except for Grandpa Adzentoivich, spent some time with the new grandbabies this past week. The boys are now 5 weeks old - hard to believe. When they say they grow so fast they aren't kidding. Every day they look different and do new things. They have already rolled over from their stomachs to their backs on one occasion. We haven't been able to replicate it, but they both did it twice in one day last week. Perhaps we are raising two young gymnasts?
Everyone had a lovely time and enjoyed meeting each other. Upon arrival, Grandma A went to work changing dirty diapers. No time to lose when there are two boys to contend with.

This week will be the meeting of Auntie Dee Dee and Uncle Bryan. This should really be fun!

As the boys get older they want more and more interaction, which is fun, but extremely challenging for one mommy. Actually, so far the whole mommy thing has been quite a challenge. And lucky me, I get to go back to work in a few short weeks. Then it will be daddy who is faced with the daily challenge of entertaining, feeding and changing these little munchkins.