Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Finally...

2 months have passed since I gave birth to my terrific, adorable, amazing twin boys. Two months since I had my abdomen cut open and two squirmy little humans were extracted from my womb. Two months since I have slept more than two consecutive hours. Two months since I went to work, ergo two months since I have had a paycheck. Two months since I began referring to myself as "mommy"; "mommy will be right back", "mommy needs to take a nap", "burp for mommy', "mommy will change your diaper as soon as she feeds your brother", "tell mommy why you are crying"... Two months, eight weeks, 60 days. Wow. Time flies.

So today, after two months of motherhood, I was finally able to go for a run. I ran. One block. Walked. One block. Ran. Another block. Walked. Another block. Etc. It was AWESOME! Forget about the fact that my abdomen has the tone of a jello mold and my ab muscles do absolutely nothing to support my "core". I ignored the awkward heavy, jiggly feeling of my belly as I lifted my feet; left, right, left, right. Walk. I was hardly able to lift my knees enough to even look like a jogger let alone a runner, but I DID lift them. I did. Even if it was just a little bit. I ran.

Let's not forget that I was on strict limitation throughout my entire 9 months of pregnancy, add the past two months to that, and that brings you to just about a year of no activity other than walking up and down the stairs (sometimes). And then let's also remember that I didn't really exercise while trying to conceive because of the two miscarriages. It has truthfully been about two years since I had an honest to goodness workout. I hate to admit it, but it is true. The months just flew by and before you know it here we are.

But I am so happy to say that I finally got my body moving again. Got my heartrate up a little bit without the aid of two fetuses in-utero adding to the load. A good old fashioned aerobic workout.

How was I able to do this with two miniture men at home, you ask? Well, Grandma Wood and Aunt Joan came over and took the boys for a walk so that I could have some alone time to be Nancy again. I even got to shower after the run. Amazing.
I have paid for my independence however. Since Grandma left the boys have been extremely fussy to the point that I wonder if something could be wrong with them, until I realize that if I feed them they calm down. They are dramatically increasing their feedings and amounts of formula/milk they eat at each. In one day we went from 3oz to 4.5oz feedings. The only way to figure out how much they need in order to feel full is to keep adding ounces until they seem satisfied and stop crying. For some reason I always have the fear of over-feeding them - I hate to see them spit-up, and so I guess I don't feed them enough...I forget that they are growing and developing and that I must alter their diet accordingly.

I am finally talking about going back to work. Though I approach this with mixed feelings, as I am sure all new moms must. I am very excited to get back to my clients and to have grown-up conversations and interactions on a daily basis, but I also dread the day when I don't see my boys for 8 hours. Unfortunately, we are not yet wealthy enough for me to be a stay at home mom, and if we ever were I am not really and truly sure that I would want to be. But maybe just for this first year....

Finally, I am feeling more like myself and less like a baby-feeder/changer/cuddler/zombie. I am feeling more like mommy, nurturer/teacher/role model. Much more fitting to my psyche. Horrah!

1 comment:

stephanie said...

good for you, mama! congrats on making it through!!!! i just can't wait to meet these boys of yours!