Friday, October 27, 2006

The Geekification of Boys

My husband is bent on grooming a couple of geeks. Dorks even. My boys, the Adzentoivich Geeks. All three of them.

This morning I awoke to the sounds of Captain Beefheart. Who is Captain Beefheart? you may ask. Well, if you are a Frank Zappa fan then you must know Captain Beefheart. He was part of the original Zappa thing. I think he played the guitar or something. He writes lyrics like "the mascara snake in the rollo-barrel sniffed the perfume and said BAM!"(sic.) More spoke word than singing. And the musical accompaniment is more a caucophony of dissonent sounds and screaming guitar. Folks, this is geekier than Frank Zappa. I mean, you have to dig deeper than Zappa to find "The Captain", as Ernie so lovingly refers to him.

Yes, he was sitting there in the studio with the baby on his lap playing Captain Beefheart on iTunes.

Next I wholly expect to come home from work to see them watching Monty Python. I mean, we do own the complete set of The Flying Circus on DVD. I have to take partial blame for that. I bought it for Ernie two Christmases ago. And I did take him to see Spamalot for his birthday a year ago. What was I thinking?

Somehow I didn't foresee the ramifications of my actions. I mean, I wasn't even pregnant at the time, so give me a break. And if I were I couldnt' have known I would have a boy, let alone TWO boys. I mean, with a girl none of these things would have mattered. Ernie would have been too mesmerized and terrified by her to try to influence her tastes like this.

I asked Ernie if he was going to get them into an online game of D&D next, just to finish the project. He informed me (silly me) that no, in fact it is the World of Warcraft community which they will become members of. Hmmm. I have never played this game, but I must admit to spending pre-baby hours at The SIMS and The Movies not to mention Civilization. But I never joined any of the online gaming communities (though I do get The Sims e-newsletter). So I suppose I am not completely blameless here either.


Now they are listening to something about fish eyes and bumblebees "...From here to there it ain't far enough and from here to here is too short..." see what I mean? On the way to total geekdom.

I can see what is going to happen. As soon as the boys can speak the three of them are going to start quoting all of these obscure references and I will be left smirking, pretending to understand what they are talking about. Forcing a laugh even though I have no idea why what they are saying is funny. Sort of like my relationship with Mark Goldstein in high school. A completely brilliant and creative kid with an afro who wore a Members Only jacket every day and drove a huge boat of a car with Zappa blasting. Sometimes he gave me a ride to school and his sister and I would roll our eyes in the back seat. Sort of like that. Me, trying to be cool by understanding the Geeks among us.

Of the freaks and geeks, I was always more likely to be a freak who tried to "fit in" with the geeks. Now that I think of it, why? I guess I liked being the cool girl who was able to fit in with all of the other crowds as well. I mean, I did watch Life of Brian and The Holy Grail many times to try to understand what the hell was so funny when someone would say "...I can't eat another bite" or "...Wafer thin", and of course "Nee!" But I balanced it out with multiple viewings of The Wall. I never went to the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I bet if they still have it around here Ernie will be taking the twins as soon as they are able to hold their heads upright on their own.

I see my future, and it is filled with obscure comedy.

Fellini anyone?

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