So this morning, as I stood on the platform waiting for the train to wisk me out of smelly old Brooklyn and into smelly old Tribeca, I noticed there was a man standing next to me. Now this was not just some guy dressed in khakis and a t-shirt on his way to the office. Nope. It was a guy wearing a skeleton costume. Full body. Head to toe. Including gloves to make his hands look like skeleton hands. I kid you not.
Skeleton man proudly wore his white on black skeleton suit with a nice pair of bug-like sunglasses a la The Terminator 1993. You know, the mirrored wraparound kind. The kind you can pick up at your local truck stop or Walmart for $5 bucks.
Anyway, I stole a sideways glance at him every time he wasn't looking my way. He had a red backpack strapped on his back and was carrying a fully loaded day planner, also circa 1995. He passed the time pacing back and forth on the platform, never being more than 20 feet away from me in either direction.
I thought, as any responsible New Yorker would, is he a Terrorist?
Then I thought, Nah! He is way too silly to be a terrorist. And besides, wouldn't a terrorist bound to blow up the subway try to be a bit more inconspicuous?
Then I though perhaps he could be some sort of performance artist. Trying to see what sort of reaction he would get to this living installation. Or maybe he was doing an experiment for a psychology class? He continuously cleared his throat loudly as he paced back and forth. This made me think he might be more along the lines of an actor or a singer.
Then it hit me, Slim Goodbody! Of course.
I remembered my friend Jonathan who for one summer traveled around the tri-state area performing as Slim Goodbody in state parks, schools, day camps, etc. You all remember Slim Goodbody? The absolutely non-disturbing guy who wore a unitard that looked like you were seeing his innards. The guy who danced around and sang songs about how the body works while wearing a skin tight unitard and running shoes? Come on, maybe this will jog your memory:
I remembered that one time Jonathan had to drive to a sea-side park in Long Island wearing his Slim Goodbody unitard in the car because there was no place to change at that particular park. So I though maybe this guy might be in the same sort of predicament. I felt a littl ebit sorry for him. Maybe he was on his way to do some sort of kid's show, or maybe he was going to be a skeleton at some strange kid's bithday party. That made me feel much better than if he was just a crazy guy who liked to walk around town wearing head to toe skeleton polyester.