The Inevitability of it All

What is "all"? You may ask. Well. ALL. Everything. Life.

I always thought that people said that once you had kids you felt young again. That you suddenly saw the world through their eyes. That everything seemed possible.

Something must be wrong with me. Really. Depression? Obsession? Neurosis? Paranoia? Pessimism? Psychosis? All of the above? Probably. Or at least a combo platter of a few.

When the boys were first born (7 months and one week ago) I was overjoyed. I was awestruck by them and the fact that I actually GREW two people inside myself (me?). I was intimidated by the smallness and tenacity of them.

And I was tired.

And I am still tired.

And now I am fat, too. (you, know - the breast feeding it let's you eat A LOT. No more breast feed - no more instant fat burnie uppie.). And tired.

I have become accustomed to the exhaustion. I never thought I could but somehow it just happens. You wake up one morning and feel really awesome because you had 6 hours of sleep. 7am is sleeping in. And somehow it is all OK. You go on. You make it to the office, work until 6 or 7 and then come home, do baby stuff, go to sleep and then do it all again. It just works itself out. I suppose it has to really. Life goes on, as the saying goes. And you just sort of ride the tide the best you can.

So my problem comes from the extreme proximity I feel to my own mortality. Before the boys were born I understood that life comes to an end, we all die, etc. I am well-read in the writings of the Dali Lama, the Apostles, and Lao Tzu (or whoever wrote the Tao, I am having such a stupid moment right now, can't think). I am acquainted with the philosophers, Shakespeare, all of the great thinkers. I even studied Metaphysics. I understand the Universal. Though I wasn't necessarily convinced that God existed in the Catholic sense, or if there was a Heaven and a Hell - I was OK with the idea that one day we would all be gone from this life. I was OK with that.

Now - well, all I can think of is that I will die, Ernie will die. We will leave our boys in the world alone. Our deaths will be painful to them. My parents will die and leave their grandkids - I know how badly it hurt me when my grandfather passed away, it still hurts. And the idea that my boys will die is too much for me to take. My heart explodes a little bit and I get dizzy just aknowledging the fact. Even if they live to be 100 - they will still die. And I don't think that is OK. I know they will suffer throughout their lives. And THAT IS NOT OK! I think I am going to throw up now.

I don't understand how people can say that when you become a parent you see the world through your children's eyes, blah, blah, blah.

Does my issue stem from too much exposure to The Cure and Morrisey in my youth? Did I OD on Marilyn Manson in the 90s? I am usually such an optimistic person.

I don't know how or when I will ever get past this. I expected to worry. Parents always worry about their kids. But my thought process is absurd. I am worried about their life leading up to their inevitable death.

Don't get me wrong. I also think about things like taking them to the farm in the summer. Teaching them to swim and to ride a bike. Going to see them in the game, or the school play. Watching them take their first steps.....

But then I read these assinine books telling me things like:

• any food you give your 7 month old has the distinct probability of choking him to death
• don't ever leave your baby in his high chair for five minutes while you prepare his breakfast in the next room - he will surely get the strap wrapped around his neck and suffocate to death
  
• do not, in any circumstance, wash your child's clothing or dinnerware in detergent! And NEVER EVER use bleach in your home if children are living there. The mere presence of these things will surely cause your child's skin to blister and he will undoubtably be blinded for life. Instead, clean everything you own with Vinegar
• always keep your child facing backwards in his car seat. Even if this means that your child will have to bend his legs and do leg presses against the back of the seat while riding in the car.
• give your 7 month old finger foods, such as peices of fresh fruits like pears. And in no circumstances should you feed your 7 month old fresh slices of slippery fruits, such as pear, or it will certainly slide down his windpipe and kill him at the lunch table
• the 7 month old's diet should be primarily breast milk, or formula (milk-based), but do not give your child dairy products such as yogurt, milk or cheese until after 1 year of age or a severe allergic reaction may occur resulting in death

What do you do with information like this? Is it truly meant to be helpful? If so, How? I don't get it.

I have decided to stop reading all of the books. It is not helping my mental state.

Does anyone have any positive advice on how to introduce solid foods to your 7 month old? Any ideas on how to keep a child alive past his first birthday while still having clean clothes and a mold-free bathtub?

I guess a dirty house is inevitable too.

My neurosis aside, my boys are doing very well in spite of me. They are very large. At their 6 month Dr's appointment the pediatrician said "They are perfectly average - for NINE month olds!" Thank god.

Need to Install A Child Safety Seat?

Check out this nifty web site that will tell you how.

There are also certified persons in most states who will install your car seats free of charge. In Fairfield County CT there are a few firemen in the Stamford/Greenwich area who are certified to do this and they hold clinics a couple of times per month. We were shocked when we had them install the infant seats in our Hyundai when the boys were little. It was incredible to see the lengths they went to in order to make sure those stinking bases stayed in place on the back seat. Picture large fireman type kneeling on top of the car seat base in the tiny backseat of our Hyundai hatchback while fireman type number 2 snaked around him to insert the seatbelt buckle into the recepticle. We were never able to replicate it.

Nobody Builds an Aqueduct Anymore

I am sitting here thinking about the great civilizations and my degree in Art History. I am thinking - wow, we sort of suck. I mean our generation created the internet. And that is pretty cool. But does it really have the same impact as The Aqueduct?

Have you ever played Civilization (or Civ, as we call it around here)? I mean, once you build an aqueduct your civilization grows. They are enabled to create agriculture and hospitals. Everything becomes more hygenic, waste management emerges. All possible because someone figured out how to transport water from a place with plenty to a place in need.

Such a simple idea to affect so many throughout many, many generations.

Does anyone do that anymore? I know I don't. Sure, the internet is civilization-changing but not on the same level. It doesn't allow people to live longer or better. It really is just another medium for commerce and information. It isn't a necessity for better living or better health.

Conversly, it may actually have a detrimental affect on your health if you spend too much time with it.

This may be a stupid post. I know. It has been so long since I posted anything and there have been oh so many thoughts in my head of late. So you will have to humor me. Or just skim.

Call Child Services

I guess I am really the worst mother ever. Really. So call. Now.

Here I am. Late in the evening....

My darling husband has decided today was a good day to drive out to our place in Pennsylvania and get out car inspected (cuz, you know, all of our cars are registered there. Don't tell Jodi Rell - she's the Governor of CT, I think) and check on our place. Last month our electric bill was double...even though we haven't been there and the heat and water, etc. have all been shut off since the fall. We think, might we have squatters? Hmmmm....hoping I don't get a call telling me that hubby T'C et.al. are in the midst of confrontation with scary ATV-type folk (what does that mean, anyway?).

So Ernie is in PA. Today it was me and my boys. My cousin and her daughter and her friend came over for a visit. It was nice to pull my head out of the 15 year old Champion-sweatshirt-and-running-pants (Running pants? Nobody around here doing any running) day and speak with adults. They came and left, and the boys and I enjoyed a few hours of screaming before dinner.

Dinner was a bust. Only one boy decided to eat. The other one just figured he'd continue to scream. It felt good for him. Not so good for me.

So then I made the executive decision that there would be no bath tonight. For anyone. The boys seemed fine with that. In my defense, it is difficult enough to coordinate a double bath when there are two adults in the house, but when it is just me - and it has been just me all day - it is darn near impossible. So I surrendered.

Then we all went upstairs and I filled the humidifier (which hasn't been cleaned in about a month) and emptied the diaper pail. Then I changed each boy into pajamas and cleaned their faces and bottoms with a wash cloth. I attempted to give Baby A a bottle but alas, he was still not hungry. So to bed he goes with no dinner, no bath and no bottle.

Then Baby B has a swig of the bottle and takes only 3 ounces. This is a kid who typically takes 8 ounces in a shot. But 3 it was and I couldn't argue. He proceeded to fall asleep. OK.

Each is in his crib with the dirty water spewing hot mist from the humidifier. I stealthily grab the baby scissors and cut each of their 20 fingernails while they lay asleep. Ahhhh I win this battle!

Once asleep, and after doing the laundry and dishes and preparing the baby food meals for morning and emptying all garbage pails....I have a giant chocolate chip cookie for dinner and grab my laptop and head upstairs.

I check the boys and they are fast asleep. Their Rock a Bye Baby CD playing softly in their room.

So I creap back downstairs and grab a bottle of wine. Ahhh... the thought of a night to myself drinking wine and catching up on my blog reading. What decadence. And what a bad mommy. I am alone with the kiddies (and the kitties) and I am enjoying a glass or two (or three or five) of wine. C'est Teribile!

But that is the truth. I even feel like sneaking out back to have a cigarette. What will ever become of my children?

Oh, did I mention that while imbibing and indulging in the blogosphere I am watching The History of Sex on The History Channel (actually, I only caught the last 10 minutes of it. Now it is all about the Visigoths and the Roman Empire - seems like the same thing to me)?

I tell you, I am an abhoration!!! (is that a word? It must be the wine talking now...)

Bye, Bye Will!

Adios Will (AKA The Well-Groomed Head)! My boss is leaving me. He is going to the "Gateway to the West" to work for the competition. Best of luck to you - and DON"T STEAL MY CLIENTS!!!!!

Just teasing. Good luck. Thanks for sticking by me during all of the crazy baby-ness. You have been extremely cool to work with/for and now everyone knows it. :-)

Car Seat Photos

I don't know why, but for some reason I cannot add the photos I wanted to add to the blog post about the new car seat. Annoying.

Here they are. Graco Snug Rides then....and now.

New Car Seat(s)

The boys have outgrown their little Graco infant car seats/carries. Remember these?

Well, they are now past both the height and weight limits. I can't believe they have grown so quickly. I mean, everyone says that "they grow so fast!" but you don't understand what that means until you see it for yourself.


So I did my research and found that this seat has an excellent safety rating, and also a good ease of use rating, yet falls in the mid-range of price. Believe me when I say that I was almost swayed by the pretty Brittax convertible car seat, even with it's $250 price tag. But I resisted and did my research using my trusty Consumer Reports Best Baby Products book (see link below), and found that this seat was indeed better and cheaper. Who would have guessed?



So we now have our two new car seats strapped tightly into our new minivan. We have to call the Greenwich Fire Department to find out when the certified car seat installers are on duty. There are only two of them in thr county and they are both stationed in Greenwich. We had them install the bases of our Graco seats when the boys were newborns and could not believe how tighly they were able to get them in. We have tried to replicate the results but to no avail.

I have crossed the line...

...and bought a minivan

Oh yeah...ain't she sweet?

Pretty bad-ass...no?

I am ordering an undercarriage neon lighting package from my local too-fast, too-furious dealer (oh yeah, that might actually be my dad - Specialty Automotive. If you don't know, don't ask...). Notice the hot after-market tinted windows? How about the slick Mopar fin at the top of the hatch door? So smokin'. Umm, umm, umm. Watch out.

So, I am a true suburban mom. So much for strolling through Union Square with my babies. Or walking around the Grand Army Plaza Farmer's Market on a Saturday morning buying fresh Fontina. Instead I will drive my babies in the minivan to the mall and change them in the changing room at Macy's. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

But please don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. Yes, we are extremely fortunate to be able to live where we do in a house that is big enough for two boys, two cats and a dad who must have one bedroom serve as a recording and composition studio. Yes, I know. I also have three vehicles sitting in my driveway, even is one is a minivan and one is a Hyundai (and the other is a monster truck Ford f150). I do realize and appreciate all that we have. It is just that it is such a dichotomy. I mean, who am I? I really don't even recognize myself. I am stalking Craigslist for baby sitters instead of for apartments, concert tickets or whatever else that sounds cool.

Geesh. I guess maybe I am having some sort of mid-life crisis, though I'd like to think I am only at 1/3-life. Or whatever.

I think I am just a complainer. God, please don't ask my husband to confirm this because he will heartily go off for about 4 hours with examples of how this is true while he toasts you with the very expensive scotch he saves for special occasions, such as when he is right and I am proven incredibly wrong. But honestly, I see an injustice or imbalance in the world, whether mine or someone else's, and I feel I must point it out and share it with everyone around me. Regardless of how annoying that may be.

So, work has been great. I have a new boss who is very cool. A woman who is top of our field. I finally have a mentor. I went on my first business trip since entering motherhood. I spend the night in St Louis last week. It was supposed to be two nights but my original flight ended up being a free tour of the 5 Boroughs of Manhattan. We took off from Westchester County airport and never got above 5,000 feet. They could not get the cabin pressure to adjust. So we flew around in circles above Manhattan for two hours burning off fuel so we could land back at Westchester County airport. Did I mention that this was in a 40 seat plane? I mean it was tiny. I got to see Times Square from a $1,500 vantage point. I am serious when I say we were so low that I could read the signs.

So I ended up spending that night in my own bed and flying out very early the next morning. I went to meetings and to a grown up dinner. I even got to wear a suit. That night I slept like a dead person in a bed made of heavenly clouds and pillow of the finest down (it was the Ritz, afterall), not stirring until 6:30am, when I was awakened by the phone and a knock on my door offering me the morning paper and a carafe of coffee. Bliss.

But I did miss my boys and high-tailed it out of there to get home by 10pm that evening. I think it was a successful trip. My next one is planned for this week but will be out and back on the same day. Hard on mom but easy on the kids.

So you might infer from all of this that the whole "Being a mom to twins has made me an insane zombie" thing has grown old. And you would be correct. I can happily say that it has all become 1,000,000,000% easier than it was the first 4 months. I never, even want to relive those months. Really. We are all much happier now. The husband/wife thing is a bit strained, but the mom/dad/kid thing is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better. Wow. I never thought it would feel like such a turn around in what seems like such a short period of time. All of the suckiness is gone.

If you wonder why there have been little to no blog posts I will have to blame it on my work. Since going back to the office full time I have been transitioned onto our biggest account as the lead account manager. It has been hectic but rewarding.

I must now run off to the train station to pick up Ernie who was in the City playing with the Brooklyn Youth Chorus in the Museum of Natural History togniht. But don't worry, my mother in law is sleeping upstairs. I am not leaving the boys alone. She goes back to Vegas tomorrow - then we'll see if I still think things are so much easier.

Until then, keep on riding dirty my friends.

MLK Post by a Frazzled New Mom (Are you tired of this same old lament yet....)

You Rock, MLK. Thanks for all you did for us. Can't say lots has changed, still lots of people using the 'N Word' and all that, but you know...it's better. I guess. What do I know, I'm a white girl? I do know the news is always talking about how the cops are shooting folks because they are in a particular part of town, or their skin is particularly dark....still seems like there's a long way to go.

But on the lighter side of things (OK, that pun was unintended, and actually it sounds a little creepy, but I am going to leave it anyway)- MLK Day is a day of rest in the advertising world AKA I get the day off. And last year on MLK day I found out I was preggers when I got two pink lines on my plastic pee stick in the middle of a snow storm. I remember walking in the snow to Target in Brooklyn to buy a box of tests because I couldn't stand to wait a day to find out. Look how much can change in a a year...but I digress.

So, today I have a few minutes to write in my blogs. Everyone keeps asking me what's up because I never write anymore. It's not that I don't love you, I do, really. It is just that now that I have gone back to work in the office full time I can't seem to find time to write. The boys require less time but more effort. They sleep more but need to be entertained, or want to be entertaining, when they are awake. And so I must oblige. I am hoping that once they are able to play with EACH OTHER it will allow mommy more time to herself. Is this a pipe dream? Only time will tell.

The beginning of the year has been busy for the A's. We went to visit Great Grandpa Germano on his 89th birthday Jan. 7th (Oh yeah, and I had a birthday on the second, but we won't talk about that).

4 Generations
Great Grandpa Germano and WaylonErnie made his first-ever bundt cake from scratch. Both boys have rolled over in each direction. Grandfather Adzentoivich became Super Grandpa within his first 2 hours with the boys. Grandma and Grandpa Wood bought a timeshare in Antigua so we all will have a place to party into the future. Auntie Dee is in Hawaii. We had a party with all of our friends and their babies from NYC (And the Young-Crozet's who have just returned home to the states after 3 years in Switzerland!).

(Waylon, Leia & Vladimir)
Me, Waylon & Vlad ( 4 1/2 mos), Melissa & Noah (4 1/2 mos), Emily & Simon (9 mos), Krista & Leia (6 mos)Ernie and I have had the flu, the boys somehow managed to keep healthy. Vladi and Waylon had their 4 month vaccinations followed by a 102.2 fever. We made a trekk up to IKEA in New Haven in a fog storm in a borrowed minivan whose defrost button is broken...And now we are looking forward to shopping for a minivan of our own (Well, I am looking forward to it, Ernie keeps grumbling about the payments...).

That being said, I never got the chance to post my traditional Year in Photos for 2006. I promise to try to get to that before January is over. In the meantime, I will post some shots of the first two weeks' goings on.

Happy MLK Day! Keep on Rockin' in the Free World!Adzentoivich Totem Pole...

Congratulations!

Well, well, well. Good news all around it seems.

Congratulations to my cousin Carleen and her new fiance Jeff. They were engaged on Christmas Eve. A September 1st wedding is in the works. We are so happy for them and couldn't imagine a more appropriate pairing!

Congratulations to my dear friend Stephanie (not cousin Steph, for those of you who also read her blog) who had a baby girl at 9:26 this morning. No name as of yet (I know what that's like...having waited 4 days before naming our boys). I was hoping for a boy to whom I could hand down scads of adorable clothing, but alas no. This is Steph's first child.

And lastly, congratulations to my former agency for being named Best Search Agency of the Year for 2006. Kudos, guys. I would like to think that although the employee roster over there looks much different than it did in Jan '06, we all had something to do with that success. Hurrah.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes folks. It's that time of year again...my birthday.

Thank you, thank you.

In lieu of gifts, please order one of these energy efficient light bulbs and replace one regular bulb in your house. You will save money on your electric bill, and you will help save our environment. Really.

Happy New Year!

Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU all for your generosity surrounding the birth of our sons Vladimir and Waylon. We have been overwhelmed by the kindness of our extended family. Since bringing the boys home from the hospital in late August our lives have been a whirlwind of non-stop diapering, feeding, rocking, changing and swaddling. As your thoughtful gifts continued to arrive well into the fall we lost track of who was sent thank you notes and who was not. Please accept our deepest apologies if we overlooked you. You must all know that we did receive your gifts and appreciated them more than we could ever express. The boys have a veritable clothing boutique hanging in their closets stocked by all of you! We have opened savings accounts for each of them with the generous gifts that were made for such a purpose. We have bought hundreds (likely thousands) of diapers and baby wipes with the gift cards we received. All of the books and CDs have been read and listened to multiple times. All of the food and goodies were delightful and all of the great advice was priceless. We honestly could not have made it through these first few months without all of you. And though we always knew how great you all were we certainly could never have expected such generosity!

As we head into 2007 we feel extremely blessed to have these two beautiful boys in our lives. Though overwhelmed at times, as all new parents must be, we cannot express the happiness they have brought us. If you haven’t met them yet we invite you to stop by the house any time. We are both surprised by how much we love our new role as parents to these two cool little guys. The experience has been quite unexplainable. Who would have guessed?

We wish you and yours the best of everything in 2007. May you find health, happiness and good fortune before you and look back at 2006 with fond memories. We look forward to spending time with each of you in the coming year.

With Love,

Ernest, Nancy, Vladimir and Waylon

Merry Christmas!

Blowing in the Wind

We have a new view from the front porch of the house at Adzentoivich Woods. Windmills. 13 of them to be exact.

HUGE windmills.

If you don't want to click the link I'll just tell you - they cost $70 million and are 100 feet taller than the Statue of Liberty.

Huge freakin' windmills!

Here is a photo of the new view (this is a mountaintop, not a hill, mind you)...And another (look closely)...One of the things we cherished about Adzentoivich Woods was the fact that when there you felt as if you were the only people in the world. You could see no neighbors, no roads, nothing.

Complete solitude.

Nature in it's natural state.

I have mixed feelings about these new addiitons to our environ. On one hand they are really, really cool. I mean really. They turn so slowly and silently. Giants on the hillside quietly bringing life through the wind to humanity. Harnasing the winds and squeezing from them electricity.

Clean power.
Responsible power.
Natural power.

Little or no by-products. No pollution (hello, co-gen plants?).

Almost majestic in their pursuit and stature.

Calming to behold and somewhat humbling.

Heck, we were even thinking of putting one up on the farm - though not nearly as large. And cousin Anne trekked halfway across the country in a gas-guzzling SUV to pick one up for her place.

Off the grid, self-sustaining power. Hope for the future.

On the other hand - HUGE FREAKIN' WINDMILLS SEEN FROM MY FRONT PORCH!

YouTube and Cat's Eyes

So I uploaded that last post from my digital camera to my computer, then to YouTube. I posted it to the blog straight from the YouTube interface. For some reason I have heard that several people have been unable to watch it. Sorry for that. It is really just a random video of the boys laying on their tummy-time mat while Vladi cries and Waylon pedals his feet. So, sorry about that if you can't see it. I am new at the whole YouTube thing - at least the contribution aspect of it. Maybe I did something wrong when I uploaded it.

Yesterday morning, Ernie and I were sitting on the bed feeding the boys when Godzilla sauntered into the room. I looked at him as he walked past my side of the bed and continued to schlep underneath the crib into what is known around here as "cat jail" (the slats of the crib make it look as if the cat were in jail). I noticed his right eye was completely swollen and discusting. The inner eyelid thing was all pink and HUGE.

I said "Ernie, go look at the cat and put medicine in his eye" (this is not the first time this has happened to Godzilla, he seems to have allergies)

He said "But I am feeding a baby"

I said "I don't care, give me the baby and take care of the cat. His eye is really bad"

He said "Wow, that's a first. Take care of the cat instead of the baby?"

I said "Look at his eye and you'll see why"

So Ernie gives me the baby, now I have two. He goes to get Godzilla who of course doesn't want to be gotten. Once he catches him he yells to me from the other room...

"I think he lost it"

I yell back "Lost What?"

He yells "I think he lost his eye"

Me "REALLY?"

He "I think so!"

Me "Well, call the vet! Call Rick and bring him over there right away" (Rick being our parent's friend who is a vet two towns over)

He "OK"

.....time passes

I think about where his eye could possibly have gone. Under the diningroom table? Under the refrigerator? Into the fireplace? And how would we ever find it? Would it start to eventually stink and lead us to it? Hopefully before the boys start to crawl...

Me "well, is it there?"

He "I think so. I dunno. I put some medicine in it so we'll see. I am going to watch him"

Me "OK"

Later....

He "Wow, his eye looks 100% better!"

Me "Oh good, so it is still there."

He "yeah"

Only that evening did I think about it and realize that it would be quite impossible for our cat to "lose" his eye. I mean, it is attached and all that. This I found to be quite comical. Both Ernie and I thought it was perfectly probable that our cat's eye could have fallen out from extreme paw rubbing or some such thing.

This is what happens when you are subject to extreme sleep-deprivation. Your cat can lose his eye and you don't really think a thing of it other than, I hope we find it before the babies do. It all becomes one big Fellinni film.

Playtime

New Post

I missed a few days of posts so I guess I am out of the NoBloPo thingy. I made it everyday for a week, at least! I think that is pretty good considering I have the babies and am working again.

I am going to try to continue to post daily, or as close to daily as possible. I have enjoyed reading other people's daily blog posts. I think this NoBloPo idea is great though, it has gotten a few folks (including myself) blogging regularly again.

Keep up the good work, and I will try to do the same.

Plant For The Planet

This is a cool program being initiated by Nobel Prize winner Wangari Maathai from Kenya. She is the only black woman to ever win a Nobel Prize. Her goal is to have 1 billion new trees planted across the world in 12007 in an effort to stall global warming. All you have to do is click here and enter any trees you may plant during the year so that they may be counted.

You can read about it on Yahoo! News or at the United Nations Environment Programme.

Oh Britney

Is anyone surprised that she filed for divorce from that idiot? At least she got him a job (a.k.a. record deal) so that his sons won't think he is a total loser.

And it was sure smart of her to have both of her sons sired by the same (deadbeat) dad. She definitely put her thinking cap on for that one.

Why are celebrities such imbeciles? Is this really the best our society has to offer our youth as role models? I mean, if she were some sort of musical genius it might be a different story, but in reality she is just a piece of tail. And now she isn't even good looking - though she did just birth two babies in two years so I have to cut her some slack and give her some props.

But Britney, really, can't you hire someone to make your decisions for you? Surely you can afford it.

Addicted to HGTV

Hi, my name is Nancy and I'm a HGTVaholic...

Really.

Since I have been home nurturing my offspring I have also been feeding my addiction. And it isn't the home improvement or design shows that I am into. Nope. It's the real estate shows.

What You Get for the Money
National Open House
International Open House
What's My House Worth

You know. Shows that make me feel like an idiot for spending a gagilion dollars for a 1800 square foot 100 year old house on 0.10 acre. Dunce.

From what I can see we should be looking to move to Savannah, GA. Now you're talking about a nice place at a reasonable price.

But as my friend Krista says "but you have to live in Savannah (insert any town/city/state other than New York or one of it's suburbs)".

And of course she is right. We all know the sacred real estate mantra...location, location, location!

But moving somewhere like Savannah/Nashville/Pittsburgh would allow us to live in a mansion/estate/loft with every amenity, no mortgage and I wouldn't have to leave my boys to go to work if I didn't want to. Wouldn't that be worth the sacrifice of location? What would I really be missing? Starbucks (doubt it), Barnes and Noble (probably not), Walmart(absolutely not)?

So, when I start talking about taking a road trip to check out property in Memphis it may be time to stage an intervention.

Admitting you have a problem is half the battle, right?

What It LOOKS Like to Have Twins (at 5am) - 10 1/2 Weeks

What It Is Like to Have Twins - 10 1/2 Weeks

It feels like I have been hit by a truck.

All the time.

I eat things like salt and vinegar chips and Vienna Fingers because I am always hungry and cannot have; dairy, chocolate, spicy food, beans, gas-producing vegetables, too much caffeine.

I stink. Haven't bathed in days. Hair becoming like dreadlocks.

See my husband only on occassion, on which we yell at each other about things like; types of formula, adequate burping practices, poop diapers, vomit, showers, baths, dinner...

Have ungroomed eyebrows that are starting to look as bushy as they did in 1984.

Hairy legs.

Unmade bed.

No sex.

Jelly belly.

Dust bunnies, toilet bowl rings, dirty countertops, full litter box, dusty TV screen.

Stuffy nose, constipation, headache, backache, sore boobs.

General feeling of being overwhelmed and out of sorts.

Just when we think we are getting the hang of things and it is starting to get "easier", something happens like "uh ha! Gotcha mom and dad!! You thought you were soooo smart, now what are you going to do about this?"

Frustration.

I wouldn't give up my boys for the world. I am oh so glad that they came to join our family. However, I wouldn't wish this on anyone else. Unless they could afford a baby nurse, a nanny and a housekeeper. On most days there is at least a moment of amazement when I look at each of them and melt - that makes it all worthwhile. It's the days when I have had no more than 3 hours of disjointed sleep that make it difficult to see the forest for the trees.

"Big Box Stores" or "It Could Happen to You, Too"

Yesterday I did something I never thought I would do. In fact, I am pretty sure that I swore to never do such a thing.

I joined a big box store. You know the ones I mean. There are lots of them, depending on what part of the country you live in. But they are all the same, really.

COSTCO
Sam's
BJ's
...

Big, giant testaments to American Consumerism. I think they embody at least 4 out of the 7 deadly sins (is that right? Vices? Whatever they are - like the Brad Pitt movie, "7").

Gluttony
Greed
Envy
Sloth

And I am on the fence about Pride/Vanity. You could say that fits too if you stretch it. And Anger fits if you take into consideration the parking lots and checkout lines.

So basically, these stores are gateways to Hell in Earthly form. They are also SOOOOO suburban and just gross, to put it in layman's terms (speaking of Layman, I always wondered whatever happened to my friend Lisa Layman and her husband Brent....they were Opera singers and very cool).

But alas, I am a sinner afterall. I have never claimed to be otherwise. And I Have even been called a Heathen on occassion (by, of all people, my mother). So maybe I shouldn't be surprised by my actions. But I am. So maybe I don't know myself very well. Perhaps you all saw this coming.

This latest development is right up there with driving a minivan. I will Never, EVER, drive a minivan. N-E-V-E-R

Unless, of course, anyone knows of a good deal on one post 2001 with less than 70k miles on it? If so, please let me know 'cuz the two-door hatchback Hyundai isn't so cute anymore. Economical, yes. Practical, not so much. Did I just say that? Geesh.

Admitedly, I am coveting my dad's new Dodge Caravan. It is just so roomy.

Sinner!

I mean, I don't think it is so bad to be a sinner. Aren't we all? But I would like my sinning to at least be FUN. Right? Like sex, drugs and rock-n-roll kinds of sins. Not big box stores and minivan envy kinds of sins. Blech. How did this happen?

I need redemption. Can anyone help me out here? Any ideas on pennance? I am not big on confessions in the Catholic sense of the word, but let's face it, this blog is my running confession to the world wide web. Sort of the same as God, no??

So I ask you, please forgive me for turning that corner of no return. Please look beyond my suburban, mommy, consumerist facade and rather deep into my free-spirited, environmentalist, rockstar psyche. I promise to never, EVER pile the kids in the minivan and roadtrip it to Orlando. For another 4 years at least....

Dinner

8th Anniversary Dinner. Gads and gads of sushi. Delicous sushi. I honestly haven't had sushi in over a year due to pregnancy, blah, blah, blah. Ocha Restaurant in Stamford. YUMMY!!

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Wood for baby-sitting. Priceless!

Anniversary Song

Yes, today is my wedding anniversary. 8 years. Wow. Time really does fly. People say it for a reason. Because it is true. Time flies when you are having fun, and as far as I am concerned the fun is just getting started!

Anniversary Song (Cowboy Junkies)

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
As that of the rain-soaked purple
Of the white birch in spring?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
Than on a warm fall nightUnder a mackerel sky,
The smell of grapes on the wind?

Well I have known all these things
And the joys that they can bring
And Ill share them all for a cup of coffee
And to wear your ring

Have you ever had the pleasure of watching
A quiet winters snow slowly gathering
Like simple moments adding up?

Have you ever satisfied a gut feeling
To follow a dry dirt road thats beckoning you
To the heart of a shimmering summers day?

Well I have known all these things
And the joys that they can bring
And Ill share them all for a cup of coffee
And to wear your ring

And I dont know how I survived those days
Before I held your hand
Well I never thought that I would be the one
To admit that the moon and the sun
Shine so much more brighter when
Seen through two pairs of eyes than
When seen through just one

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
As a face in a crowd of people
That lights up just for you?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
As when you wake
By the side of that boy or girl
Who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things
And the joys that they can bring
And now every morning theres a cup of coffee
And I wear your ring
-

And now we have these two beautiful children to add to our family. It can only get better from here! I love you Buppa.

Back to Work

Today is my first day back to work. How weird.

I am working in my "home office", which is my diningroom table. Ernie is upstairs with the babies. I know he is supposed to be "watching" them, but I hear his music loud and clear so I know he is actually working in the studio. I want so badly to go up there to check on them but I am going to let him be the responsible daddy and I will trust that he is checking on them from time to time. My fear is that he has them in their swings in the next room and is leaving them there while he works, regardless of whether or not they are crying, choking, being eaten by the cats...

Really, I know he can handle it. He keeps telling me he can.

So back to work. It is nice to be in contact with grown ups. It is nice to look at spread sheets and to play with other people's money. Ahhhhhh....like therapy. It is like meditating. What a nice break from baby duty.

But really, I do miss the boys. It is strange to not be holding them all day long. I hear them crying right now...I think he stopped the music. Is he going to check? Hmmmmmmm.........nope. The music just came back on, and the crying got louder. Shit. Go check on your sons man!

Don't make me go up there. I don't want to usurp you...

OK, I think he's got them now. Crying stopped. Music started. It soothes the savage beast and all that. It's true with babies too apparently.

I think this working thing is going to be OK. At least until I have to actually GO to the office. Now that will be difficult...luckily I have about a month before I have to consider that. We have expanded so quickly that my former office has been recommissioned and there is no place for me to work until we move in December.

So this marks the end of my maternity leave. So sad, really. You only get to do it once in the lifetime of your children, and here it has already passed.

The Geekification of Boys

My husband is bent on grooming a couple of geeks. Dorks even. My boys, the Adzentoivich Geeks. All three of them.

This morning I awoke to the sounds of Captain Beefheart. Who is Captain Beefheart? you may ask. Well, if you are a Frank Zappa fan then you must know Captain Beefheart. He was part of the original Zappa thing. I think he played the guitar or something. He writes lyrics like "the mascara snake in the rollo-barrel sniffed the perfume and said BAM!"(sic.) More spoke word than singing. And the musical accompaniment is more a caucophony of dissonent sounds and screaming guitar. Folks, this is geekier than Frank Zappa. I mean, you have to dig deeper than Zappa to find "The Captain", as Ernie so lovingly refers to him.

Yes, he was sitting there in the studio with the baby on his lap playing Captain Beefheart on iTunes.

Next I wholly expect to come home from work to see them watching Monty Python. I mean, we do own the complete set of The Flying Circus on DVD. I have to take partial blame for that. I bought it for Ernie two Christmases ago. And I did take him to see Spamalot for his birthday a year ago. What was I thinking?

Somehow I didn't foresee the ramifications of my actions. I mean, I wasn't even pregnant at the time, so give me a break. And if I were I couldnt' have known I would have a boy, let alone TWO boys. I mean, with a girl none of these things would have mattered. Ernie would have been too mesmerized and terrified by her to try to influence her tastes like this.

I asked Ernie if he was going to get them into an online game of D&D next, just to finish the project. He informed me (silly me) that no, in fact it is the World of Warcraft community which they will become members of. Hmmm. I have never played this game, but I must admit to spending pre-baby hours at The SIMS and The Movies not to mention Civilization. But I never joined any of the online gaming communities (though I do get The Sims e-newsletter). So I suppose I am not completely blameless here either.

But STILL.

Now they are listening to something about fish eyes and bumblebees "...From here to there it ain't far enough and from here to here is too short..." see what I mean? On the way to total geekdom.

I can see what is going to happen. As soon as the boys can speak the three of them are going to start quoting all of these obscure references and I will be left smirking, pretending to understand what they are talking about. Forcing a laugh even though I have no idea why what they are saying is funny. Sort of like my relationship with Mark Goldstein in high school. A completely brilliant and creative kid with an afro who wore a Members Only jacket every day and drove a huge boat of a car with Zappa blasting. Sometimes he gave me a ride to school and his sister and I would roll our eyes in the back seat. Sort of like that. Me, trying to be cool by understanding the Geeks among us.

Of the freaks and geeks, I was always more likely to be a freak who tried to "fit in" with the geeks. Now that I think of it, why? I guess I liked being the cool girl who was able to fit in with all of the other crowds as well. I mean, I did watch Life of Brian and The Holy Grail many times to try to understand what the hell was so funny when someone would say "...I can't eat another bite" or "...Wafer thin", and of course "Nee!" But I balanced it out with multiple viewings of The Wall. I never went to the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I bet if they still have it around here Ernie will be taking the twins as soon as they are able to hold their heads upright on their own.

I see my future, and it is filled with obscure comedy.

Fellini anyone?

National Blog Posting Month

Takes place in November. You can find out more about it here .

I plan to take part in an attempt to get myself to write and think about things other than my babies. Not that my babies aren't wonderful and don't deserve my undivided attention, but I am going a little batty already. Just yesterday I found myself talking baby talk while holding one and rocking the other in his bouncy seat with my foot. When the baby talk stopped working I moved on to singing. My forte is a fine medley of songs ranging from "The Gambler" (Kenny Rogers) and On My Own" (Les Miserables), to "She's A Grand Old Flag" (traditional) and "Can't Go Home" (Bon Jovi). Only the choruses of course, because really who can recall an entire song on spot with no accompaniment? I have found that I cannot.

So I am going to attempt to post on this blog every day in the month of November. Thanks for your support.

Finally...

2 months have passed since I gave birth to my terrific, adorable, amazing twin boys. Two months since I had my abdomen cut open and two squirmy little humans were extracted from my womb. Two months since I have slept more than two consecutive hours. Two months since I went to work, ergo two months since I have had a paycheck. Two months since I began referring to myself as "mommy"; "mommy will be right back", "mommy needs to take a nap", "burp for mommy', "mommy will change your diaper as soon as she feeds your brother", "tell mommy why you are crying"... Two months, eight weeks, 60 days. Wow. Time flies.

So today, after two months of motherhood, I was finally able to go for a run. I ran. One block. Walked. One block. Ran. Another block. Walked. Another block. Etc. It was AWESOME! Forget about the fact that my abdomen has the tone of a jello mold and my ab muscles do absolutely nothing to support my "core". I ignored the awkward heavy, jiggly feeling of my belly as I lifted my feet; left, right, left, right. Walk. I was hardly able to lift my knees enough to even look like a jogger let alone a runner, but I DID lift them. I did. Even if it was just a little bit. I ran.

Let's not forget that I was on strict limitation throughout my entire 9 months of pregnancy, add the past two months to that, and that brings you to just about a year of no activity other than walking up and down the stairs (sometimes). And then let's also remember that I didn't really exercise while trying to conceive because of the two miscarriages. It has truthfully been about two years since I had an honest to goodness workout. I hate to admit it, but it is true. The months just flew by and before you know it here we are.

But I am so happy to say that I finally got my body moving again. Got my heartrate up a little bit without the aid of two fetuses in-utero adding to the load. A good old fashioned aerobic workout.

How was I able to do this with two miniture men at home, you ask? Well, Grandma Wood and Aunt Joan came over and took the boys for a walk so that I could have some alone time to be Nancy again. I even got to shower after the run. Amazing.
I have paid for my independence however. Since Grandma left the boys have been extremely fussy to the point that I wonder if something could be wrong with them, until I realize that if I feed them they calm down. They are dramatically increasing their feedings and amounts of formula/milk they eat at each. In one day we went from 3oz to 4.5oz feedings. The only way to figure out how much they need in order to feel full is to keep adding ounces until they seem satisfied and stop crying. For some reason I always have the fear of over-feeding them - I hate to see them spit-up, and so I guess I don't feed them enough...I forget that they are growing and developing and that I must alter their diet accordingly.

I am finally talking about going back to work. Though I approach this with mixed feelings, as I am sure all new moms must. I am very excited to get back to my clients and to have grown-up conversations and interactions on a daily basis, but I also dread the day when I don't see my boys for 8 hours. Unfortunately, we are not yet wealthy enough for me to be a stay at home mom, and if we ever were I am not really and truly sure that I would want to be. But maybe just for this first year....

Finally, I am feeling more like myself and less like a baby-feeder/changer/cuddler/zombie. I am feeling more like mommy, nurturer/teacher/role model. Much more fitting to my psyche. Horrah!

What Else?

Can I talk about other than babies and being a mother? I hate to be such a bore. I am still more than a mom, right? I mean, right now I feel like nothing but a milk machine but I know the old me has got to be in there somewhere tucked away waiting to reemerge.

My husband is talking about joining some wild mushroom society in CT called COMA. He wants to get into COMA right now. It is the perfect season for it. I think he is looking for his inner-self too. Though I am not quite sure how rooting through dirt for mushrooms might do that. I don't think they are the mind-altering kind of mushrooms, or shrooms as you might call them. And I never knew him to be a big fan of mushrooms....maybe he's been sniffing too many baby diapers.

It makes me sad that the small plane crashed into the building on East 72nd Street in NYC. I used to work in the building next door, at the Strang Cancer Prevention Center, so I know the block very well. It is scary. But what makes me the most sad is that once they suspected that a sports celebrity was involved it became a "Great Tragedy". Before that it was simply the most interesting news story since the Amish school shootings and all of the media were crawling on it like little hungry ants. They were obviously looking for an angle to play: Flashback to 9/11, Terrorism, people trapped in the building, people hurt on the street, companies housed in the building that might be targets, accident or suicide, etc. Not once did I hear anyone refer to it as a tragedy, even though they knew there were two people killed the entire time. Not until they found out it was a Yankee, that is. Why was it not tragic when the pilot was just an unknown civilian? Are some lives worth more than others? The loss of one person more tragic than the loss of another? The media are really always looking for a way to market a story, even if it involves loss of life. It is very sad.

What else?

The fall TV season. Yes, I am watching lots of TV these days. My time spent outside the home has been drastically cut and my ability to do anything that takes two hands must come between feedings, which leaves me about 8 disjointed hours per day, including when I am asleep. So TV is the easiest way to pass the time while nurturing my wee babes.

TV.

I am loving Friday Night Lights. Loving it. The first episode presented a good case for not allowing your sons to play football. I love that Chandler guy. He used to be on another show when I was in college and my roommates and I used to classify him as "dreamy". Now that he is a bit older and a bit heavier he looks like my old boss, Josh. But he still has some of those dreamy-like qualities. Plus he is the compassionate, underdog coach, and that makes him even more appealing.

Men in Trees. OK, I know there are lots of Anne Heche haters out there. But I remember her from her soap opera days pre-Ellen. I always liked her and thought she had a very funky off-beat quality (which was proven during the post-ellen days). The writing of the show is very witty and she is funny. Plus I love that is it not a Lawyer, Police, Hospital show. It smacks a bit of Northern Exposure but what's wrong with that? I liked that show too.

Project Runway. This isn't really a new fall show, but I am so addicted! Ernie and I love to imitate Uli and Heidi. Love them. Will Jeffrey get screwed? I can't hardly wait until next week to find out. I hope Laura gets lots of stretch marks, that bitch...

LOST. Of course. This is a big hold out from last season. So far the first two episodes have been AWESOME. Now, I have heard people talking about the fake commercials that are on during LOST, but I don't think I have noticed them. Can anyone shed any light on this for me? And who fathered Sun's baby? And who is really in charge; Henry Gale ( hello...Dorothy's uncle?), or that chick with the blonde hair who brings Jack sandwiches?

30Rock. Watched this one for the first time last night. Funny. Loving Tina Fay, as always. I think this one will become a fave. And it is nice that it is only 30 minutes. Not a huge time commitment.

Then there is Earl and the Office. Faves from last season.

Then there are the MTV/VH1 reality shows that are so freaking funny.....total guilty pleasures that I watch only when I happen to catch them. I mean, it isn't like I know where they fall on the schedule and tune in each episode: Little Talent, Hogan Knows Best, Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl, My Super Sweet 16, etc. And what is up with Pants Off Dance Off?

Of course I love Million Dollar Listing on Bravo. And then there is National Open House on HGTV.

Am I pathetic? I know I am not the only one who loves fall television.

As soon as I go back to work we are getting a DVR so we can record even more shows. Then I will be able to watch Biggest Loser, which I love but is trumped by Desperate Housewives, which is on at the same time. Yeah, I am living large.

Grandparents Unite!

All of the Grandparents, except for Grandpa Adzentoivich, spent some time with the new grandbabies this past week. The boys are now 5 weeks old - hard to believe. When they say they grow so fast they aren't kidding. Every day they look different and do new things. They have already rolled over from their stomachs to their backs on one occasion. We haven't been able to replicate it, but they both did it twice in one day last week. Perhaps we are raising two young gymnasts?
Everyone had a lovely time and enjoyed meeting each other. Upon arrival, Grandma A went to work changing dirty diapers. No time to lose when there are two boys to contend with.

This week will be the meeting of Auntie Dee Dee and Uncle Bryan. This should really be fun!

As the boys get older they want more and more interaction, which is fun, but extremely challenging for one mommy. Actually, so far the whole mommy thing has been quite a challenge. And lucky me, I get to go back to work in a few short weeks. Then it will be daddy who is faced with the daily challenge of entertaining, feeding and changing these little munchkins.

Can You Tell Who is Who?

Hey Dad - Guess Which One of Us Pooped
Originally uploaded by nadzent.

At one month old the boys are developing distinct personalities and physical characteristics. The funny thing is that as they are growing older their mannerisms become more and more alike.

Can you tell them, apart?

Hints:

Vladimir is one minute older
Waylon is 6 ounces heavier
Waylon is one inch longer
Vladimir is usually more serious

Good Luck!

Tea Partay

This is hysterical. Thanks to Tony C for sending it our way. Now that we live in Connecticut I suppose we deserved it.

It is an ad campaign and we are doing exactly what the agency wanted us to do, passing it along. Well, I say kudols to them for a job well done. This is viral marketing at it's best. I only wish it was my account and that Ernie wrote the track.

Anyway, enjoy.

http://www.teapartay.com/

I can't figure out how to get the actual video to play on the blog so you have to click through, sorry.

Brothers Holding Hands

Brothers Holding Hands
Originally uploaded by nadzent.

This is my favorite photo at the moment. Twin magic is amazing.

9/11 Five Years Later

Yes, I remember.

[ ]

Christie Todd Whitman is Full of Shit

She is trying to say that she didn't say that the air at Ground Zero was safe to breathe after 9/11. Bull shit!

I was there. I had bloody noses for days whenever I went outside in Brooklyn.

We worried about the air we were breathing and eagerly awaited her environmental report. Ernie and I both had several visits to the doctor for treatment for upper respiratory problems for months after 9/11. When Ms. Whitman declared the air was safe we said "She is full of shit! Who does the government think they are fooling?"

We knew that years later this would come up and bite someone in the ass. We knew that people would suffer from disease and illness. We were not fooled.

Why do they think they can get away with this? They had to say the air was clean in order to keep people working to clean up the mess. In order to keep people riding the subways. In order to keep businesses in business, encouraging employees to continue to go to work.

Pathetic.

Being a Mom

Hmmm...while my sons are sound asleep in their dad's studio and I sit here contemplating my new breast pump, I decided I might write down some thoughts about being a mom. I need something to distract me from figuring out the breast pump thing-y, I have been putting it off for a week now and just can't seem to stop procrastinating about it.

Being a mom.

So far being a mom means sacrificing my body for the sake of growing healthy babies. Luckily for me I have been rewarded with ZERO stretch marks and have already lost 20 pounds more than I gained while gestating. That puts me at a 50 pound weight loss after two weeks. Not bad. A pretty nice pay off after allowing myself to blow up like a Macy's Parade balloon. Of course the other pay off is two healthy happy baby boys!Leaving for Hospital

10 days post-partum

Being a mom also means being up in the wee hours of the morning, hanging out with two relatively strange boys. Sort of like college when I would be up at all hours of the morning hanging out with relatively strange boys. Only now I am painfully sober and can look into the eyes of these guys knowing they will be around, loving me for years to come, rather than wondering whether or not they will call me if I give them my number before we part ways.

Being a mom means sacrificing meals in order to make sure my boys are fed. This seems to be counterintuitive since I need nutrition in order to make nutrition to feed them. But it is nearly impossbile to find time to eat let alone shop or cook. Luckily my own mother has been keeping us stocked up on food and has been feeding us at least once per day. As I feed my children my mother feeds me. The circle of life thing lives on.

Being a mom means being in love with two little guys who can hardly hold their eyes open long enough to focus on my face. Two little guys you can hold in one hand each. Two little guys who are smaller than my cats.

Being a mom means you can wipe up poop from your hands/clothes/furniture, etc. without giving it a second thought.

Being a mom means when you think of buying a new car the most important thing is how many air bags it has, if it has stability control and whether or not a folded up tandem stroller will fit in the back when you have several bags of groceries. It's like a switch is thrown in your brain. Suddenly that convertible seems like a death trap and how did I ever drive one?

It's pretty cool so far. Right now I am being paged by my second born son who is probably extremely hungry and has poop in his pants. Looks like I am on. See ya.

Just call me Mommy.

Happy 40th Anniversary!

To my Mom and Dad! Wow, 40 years. I can't even imagine that, and I was there to witness most of those years.

Sorry - no big parties have been planned to mark the day. I was busy birthing babies (one if whom has an extremely smelly diaper right now, and is not impressed that I am managing to post a blog entry while he sits in his poop) and such.

I do have to congratulate them on achieveing such a milestone. I honestly don't know at times how they could stand one another, but then again I think about it and realize that they are truly the only two people who COULD stand one another. And I mean that in the best possible way. Their honesty and openness is a great example for the rest of us (well, for me anyway), in achieving long term success. They are definitely not afraid to voice their feelings or opinions to one another or to others and I think that is wonderful.

Thanks mom and dad, and congratulations!!!

Ernesto

Yesterday it rained. And it poured. Trees came down all over our suburban neighborhood - including one on top of our garage.Ernie climbed up to the roof and - assisted by our elderly Italian neighbor - chain-sawed the limbs, braving the 7o mph winds to do so. I chose to stay in the bedroom and nurse the babies rather than watch him. It only pissed me off that he couldn't wait to climb up there in the middle of the storm. So I ignored him. He is sitting here grumbling now as I write this because I am not presenting his "side", and I am explaining that this is my blog so why would I present his side? But anyway he states for the record that he was trying to be a good dad and "protect our investment" and make sure the limbs didn't break off even more and put a huge hole in the roof. So there - that is his side. He adds that it was a "calculated risk", even though last evening he told me that he almost died on the roof. If it were up to me I would have let a tree professional come out and cut the fallen limb and trim the rest of the tree as well. Or at least would have waited until the storm passed before getting up on the ladder. But what do I know? I am just a milk machine.

Our friends from The City braved the storm and we had a baby play date in the evening. The husbands thought it funny to walk around mooing.....they don't call it a nursery for nothing, especially when there are four babies under the age of four months.
I can just see the embarassment value of this photo in about 12 years when little Simon, Waylon, Vladi and Leia hit puberty...

Grandma and Grandpa Wood

Grandma and Grandpa Wood
Originally uploaded by nadzent.

Daddy and Baby

Daddy and Baby
Originally uploaded by nadzent.

At Home - Day 3

I actually took a shower.

Babes are well. Trying to gain back the weight they have lost since they were born - one week ago tonight. Lots of eating and sleeping and pooping (the babies, not me).

Thank God for Grandparents is all I have to say.

Don't have any pics from today, but will post a few from earlier in the week (what day is it again?)

Vladimir in the Morning with Mommy 2

Vladimir in the Morning with Mommy 2
Originally uploaded by nadzent.

Birth Story or Buy One Get One Free My Ass - I Paid For Them Both

Came to hospital on Tuesday evening around 7pm. Immediately was put on Magnesium Sulfate for the preeclampsia. This drug is IV and was horrible. Side effects include blurred vision, nausea, disorientation and muscle relaxation (including the uterus, which is not a good thing when you are trying to induce labor). My blood pressure kept going up. I had a catheter and they were checking my fluid output which was steadily decreasing. My kidneys and liver were not functioning properly, also part of preeclampsia.

They checked my cervix and I was 1 cm. So they gave me this medication to help ripen my cervix overnight. So I spent the night with the cervix medication and the Magnesium and penicillin (in case of strep B) IV and catheter, while a nurse sat by my bed side monitoring me. I continued to have contractions as I had been having for the past month or two. Not too painful except that each contraction caused the babies' heads to push on my bladder/catheter which was excrutiating.

Throughout the night they checked my cervix and it wasn't changing. In the morning they started the Pitocin IV to help increase the strength of the contractions. Because I was on the Magnesium the Pitocin wasn't working as it typically should. The two medications were fighting each other. The contractions became closer together and eventually were continuous, but not strong enough to cause dilation. So I was in constant pain for hours. They finally lowered the dosage and then turned off the Magnesium for a couple of hours to see if it would work better with it off for a little while. Contractions increased and I began to get sharp pains in my left rib/lung with each contraction which made it difficult to breathe. Magnesium came back on. They gave me Demerol to help with the pain. That made me sleep for about two hours. My legs swelled like balloons from the preeclampsia. Ernie kept rubbing them to help me get some circulation and pain relief. My hips and back hurt too. Some of this was also from being confined to the bed for so long. Ernie was really great. I know he was freaked out too. My parents were there the whole time as well lending their support. The three of them were able to go home for lunch and dinner seeing as we live across the street from the hospital (which turns out to be very fortunate).

After 9 hours like this they checked my cervix and it was 2 cm. Nothing had really changed.

By this time it was 8pm Wednesday. Dr gave me three options: 1. Stop the Pitocin and do another night with the Cervical ripening medication and start Pitocin again in the morning to see if the labor would progress more quickly with another round. 2. Break the waters and see if that would start things to move along. 3. C-section.

One of the other issues besides the fact that the labor was not progressing was that my fluid output had gone from a normal range of around 300ml per hour to 20 - 30 ml per hour. My kidneys were almost not functioning and the Dr was not ready to let them go for more than 3 hours at this level before performing a c-section. So this needed to be taken into consideration when looking at our three options.

The other issue to consider was the fact that I was in excrutiating pain and hysterically crying. There was no way that I would physically be able to go another round for 24 hours and then still be able to push the babies out. I was also loopy from all of the drugs and hadn't eaten or drank anything in more than 24 hours.

We had to decide on the c-section. Ernie was not convinced and quizzed the Dr for 30 minutes about options. The nurses, the Dr and my parents all tried to explain to him that this was the best option to protect my health. Then they left us alone for 15 minutes while I told him that there was no other way as far as I was concerned. That there was nothing else that I could do. I was done. It wasn't what I wanted. Wasn't my ideal birth experience, but I was sick and I felt sicker than I had ever felt in my life. I knew there was no way I would be able to even go another hour in the pain I was in.

By 8:30 they had me in the OR and were prepping me. Ernie instructed my doctor "You are supposed to be the best, so do a good job. Make a little incision." He then went outside to have a smoke and call his mom. He was so nervous.

They had me on the table and gave me the spinal block. Luckily for me now my memory of these events is pretty fuzzy because of all of the drugs in my system and the general exhaustion and system slow down from the preeclampsia. I do know that it hurt like a bitch.

They brought Ernie into the OR about 20 minutes later. He had his iPod and little iPod speakers. He played some classical music during the procedure (I know he will kill me for not knowing what it was, I think Bach). He had what he calls the "Buck Shakes" that you get when deer hunting. Basically his entire body was tremmoring and he couldn't get a breath or relax. He sat by my head and tried to joke with the Anesthesiologist, who was thankfully a fabulous gay guy.

I remember asking the Anesthesiologist when they were going to start and he said "honey they are already through 2 layers" and I was like "oh". Then I got sharp pains up my neck and in my chest and I kept asking him if I were having a heart attack or stroke and he kept saying "it's normal, it's normal. I have your vitals on screen here. You're fine". Of course I didn't believe him. Ernie will have to tell the story from here on in because I don't really remember much else. He kept giving me more and more drugs to shut me up and calm me down. I know he gave me Morphine at one point. And by the end of the procedure I was out like a light.

They found a fibroid had been causing the pain in my rib/lung. Apparently it had been deteriorating or something where the blood supply gets cut off and it begins to die off. The babies were pushing on it and it was in turn pushing into my ribs. The Dr decided that it's condition was bad enough to warrant an extraction, even though it is something they never do during a c-section because of the risk of bleeding. I remember smelling the burning while they cauterized it. Gross. I guess that was while I was going under. Ernie had already left with the nurse and the babies to the nursery.

Ernie told me later that the Dr told him afterwards that they had trouble getting the uterus to shrink and to stop bleeding because of the effects of the Magnesium, and had had to give me a few injections of something directly into the uterus to help it to contract. They also had some trouble controlling the bleeding of the fibroid which is why they had to cauterize it. But in the end I lost a lot of blood but was OK.

I guess I came out of the OR about an hour after the babies were born. They brought me back to my room and then brought the babies down to us a few hours later. Their APGAR scores were in the high 9s, so they were healthy and doing well. That was a big relief.

I got to try to feed them at about 12:30 am. They went back to the nursery around 1:30 and Ernie went home to get some sleep. I was monitored every hour throughout the night, blood was drawn, pressure checked, fluid measured, etc. I was still on the Magnesium and the Pitocin, one to help the preeclampsia and one to help the uterus to continue to contract. Needless to say I got little sleep.

The next morning they turned off the Pitocin. We had the babies on and off in the room with us all day. We had a few visitors. My parents were there for a while. I was basically out of it. I was still in Labor and Delivery, they hadn't moved me to the Maternity ward yet because they needed to monitor me closely.

That night (Thursday) they turned off the Magnesium at around 10pm. They finally removed the catheter as my fluid output was back up into the hundreds. I was moved to the Maternity floor at 1:30am. They made me try to walk after almost 72 hours confined to bed and with my incision - talk about pain! That night was very uncomfortable in the new room and I didn't really sleep at all.

That is the end of the birth story. I guess the rest is the hospital/recovery story. I don't know if I have the energy or wherewithal to get it down right now.

We all go home tomorrow - Yay!

The Boys Have Their Own Blog

Of course they do...

http://adzent-twins.blogspot.com/

2 New Adzentoivich's

2 New Adzentoivich's were born on August 23.
Vladimir Joseph 5 lbs. 12 oz. 18" born at 9:11pm
Waylon Bram 6 lbs. 7.5 oz. 18.5" born at 9:12pm
Mother and babies are all doing fine at Stamford Hospital and should be headed home on Sunday or Monday.

We have gotten great responses from all of our hip, young artistic friends in NY and abroad, and confused looks and comments from those less artistically inclined.

To the former the 4 of us appreciate your support, and to the Later, you all should be happy that they aren't named Wozzeck and Lazeraus.

Babies Update

No babies yet. Still sitting in this bed with tons of non-fun drugs going into my arm. Only 2cm dilated afer being on Pitocin for 4 hours. We have been in the hospital for 19 hours now. With any luck these guys will be born by midnight.

This is it...Baby Day!

Yep. I am waiting for Ernie to get home from the city and then we are checking in to Stamford Hospital to be induced.

Turns out I have developed Preeclampsia afterall. Dr says not to worry, we will all come through it OK, but I must admit I am just a scosh nervous.

We will update you all as soon as the boys arrive. I anticipate sometime very early tomorrow.

Wish us all luck!

Getting Ready

The house is almost ready for the arrival of our little guys.

Ernie and his dad installed three new windows, the most important one being in the babies' room.



















They also put windows in the bathroom and Ernie's Studio. Tres Magnifique!

Today my mom came over and put the rest of the nursery together, with Ernie's help. It looks great! I will get some pics up tomorrow.

There is a chance that I am developing preeclampsia. We find out for sure tomorrow. If so, the babies will be here by mid-week. Of course we will keep you posted.

CONGRATULATIONS!

So many babies. Soooooo many........

Congratulations to Krista and Jason on the arrival of little Leia Elizabeth. She is georgous and perfect and was born July 14th (maybe it was the 13th?). Mom and Dad and baby are all doing fine and have already ventured up to our house in CT as well as to several NYC eateries. Bravo!

Congratulations to Josette and Mike on the arrival of little Jonathan Joseph. He is also beautiful and perfect and will be the second counsin of my little guys - or once removed or something like that. And Josette somehow still manages to post on her blog.

Congratulations to Melissa and Yves who just last night welcomed their little guy Noah to the family. He is also adorable and perfect. He was four weeks early and has no problems. He was born in Switzerland, where the family is living for the time being.

Melissa was due the week before me. We thought for sure my guys would be born first, I even asked her to bet me, but she declined.

BUT, rather than having my little babies to hold, I am here at home, miserable. Unable to find a comfortable position in which to exist. Peeing every 4 seconds. Sleeping for 20 minutes at a time. Pumping myself full of drugs to stop my premature labor. Being kicked and punched from the inside by two very aggressive little boys who want OUT NOW!

I have realized that my doctor is a Preemie Nazi. He will in no way allow these babies to be born before 37 weeks. People told me this about him but I guess I didn't really get what that meant. I mean surely these guys must be cooked enough by now, right? I spent 6 hours in the Dr's office on Friday being pumped full of more drugs and IVs of liquid to try to stop my contractions. Nothing worked. My body is rebelling against the drugs. But unfortunately not enough. Not that I want mt babies to be early or in the NICU for even one minute, but couldn't they be done by now? I don't know how much longer I can stand it. And I don't like to think of myself as a complainer. But really, I couldn't feel any worse. When these guys are born it will be the happiest day of my life in more ways than one. Please send booze in lieu of flowers to the hospital after their delivery - it will be mich appreciated, thanks.

Well, congratulations once again to all of my friends on the arrivals of their perfect little bundles of joy! I should also mention the arrival of Simon Kinglsey to Emily and John way back in May. I am so jealous I could spit, but I know my time will come soon enough....I just keep trying to be patient and find strength thought Zen meditation - or ironing.

I know, I know...

It's been an extremely long time since I have contributed a post to the blog. Sorry. Been a little bit busy.

What have I been doing, you ask? Well, working. working lots. Trying to work as much as possible before taking my maternity leave. Trying to get everything established and stabilized with my clients before effectively abandoning them for several weeks.

Been going to lots of doctor's appointments. Twice per week. Usually lasting at least 2 hours and many times more than 4 hours.

These days I am working from home. Thank God.

I have a bunch of new toys. An at-home uterine activity monitor, a terbutaline pump. It's been loads of fun these past few weeks.

Just found out my insurance isn't going to cover the monitor - don't know what we are going to do about that.

The uterine monitor basically is this sensor thing that wraps around your belly (which is now 48 inches around, BTW) with a velcro strap. It is hooked up to a little computer that measures the muscle contractions for an hour. During this hour one must lay still in a reclined position - sounds like a piece of cake, but not when you have 10 pounds of baby and several pounds of baby-sustaining tissue leaning up against your back and cutting the circulation to your lower extremeties. Sitting still in one position isn't all it once was.

Anyway, after the hour is finished you upload the data via the telephone to a monitoring center in St Louis where all of the nurses address you as honey or sweetheart. These nurses call you back once they evaluate your results and either congratulate you or reprimand you for the number of contractions your uterus had in that hour. Bad uterus!

I had many days of 9 - 13 contractions an hour. When this happens the nurses instruct you to lay on your left side and drink a glass of water. Then monitor again. Is it any surprise that I would still experience high numbers of contractions after this high-tech cure all?

After about a week of many contractions my Dr decided to put me on a subcutaneous pump. This pump is in a little pouch that I wear around my torso. It is a mini computer with a big syringe filled with medication attached to it. It attaches to a thin tube (that Mrs. Jinx has chewed through on two occassions) that enters my leg through a subcutaneous catheter. Basically it goes into my skin - or the fattest part of my thigh, as my nurse put it. At this point I have no idea how you would determine where the fattest part is, it's all pretty mushy.

Every hour this little pump gives me a dose of this medication that is supposed to calm the uterine muscle. Side effects include it relaxing your heart and lung muscles too - lovely. So it is necessary to take my pulse several times a day to make sure it isn't doing anything wonky to my heart. It also has the effect of making me shake. I shake like an old alcoholic. It is really nice. And did I mention that is makes you hot? Yep. I have been sitting in my air conditioned bedroom with an oscillating fan blowing on me. Ernie sleeps under the down comforter.

And the best thing is that I am STILL having lots of contractions. They have upped my dosage twice and upped the frequency of when I am given the bolus (higher dose). And this morning I still had 7 contractions in an hour. That is less than 10 minutes apart.

So my days are filled with monitoring and dosing. And working. Three things that alone are not always fun, but when put together are definitely a unique and non-fulfilling challenge.

I keep reminding myself that this is all for the babies' benefit. We need to keep them in there and cook those lungs a little bit longer - maybe 3 weeks? My crazy doctor wants to keep them in there until I am at 38 weeks, which is 4 1/2 weeks from now, but nobody thinks that is going to happen. Me especially. If we make it to 36 weeks I will be perfectly happy and the boys should be fully cooked.

At our last doctor's visit they did a growth scan, which is where they measure certain bones of the babies' bodies using ultrasound. They determined that Baby A is 5 pounds and Bay B is 4lbs, 14oz. So they aren't too scrawny!

We are still working on getting the babies' room together. Window still hasn't been put in. Painting still has not been done. On the flip side, we have managed to set up the "Bachelor Pad" in our bedroom so the boys have a place to stay should they arrive before their permanent room is compelete. We've got one crib, a changing table, a vibrating chair, diaper champ and a little couch for midnight feedings all set. I feel like I am living in my old studio apartment every time I walk into the bedroom. Too much furniture - none of it matching. But at least I can rest assured knowing that my kids have a home.

OK - so that's about all I've got for you guys. Time to go do some work and strap on the monoitor!