Christmas is Coming

And you can't run and hide. Even before Thanksgiving there were carols on the radio, JCPenny Ads and wreaths at the grocery store. What gives?

Did anyone have Turducken for Thanksgiving? Other than Tony C, of course, who tells me he wrapped his turducken in ham and cheese, then deep fried it - yum, yum. I know he's kidding 'cuz if he isn't I am going to have to alter all of my Wedding photos to remove him from the party - and I really have much better things to do these days.

Traffic. Hate it.

I swear that drivers take Gran Turismo 4 and Grand Theft Auto (video games, for those of you not of the Gamer generation) to the streets. Sort of like how the NASCAR drivers practice their skills with the EA Sports NASCAR video game during their off time.

I mean, here I am driving along, la, la,la...singing along with Lite 106fm, who went to an all-Christmas-all-the-time radio format on Thanksgiving day (I guess their programmers and DJs get an entire month off for the holidays) minding my own business when WHAM! all of a sudden a car appears in my rearview going about a zillion miles an hour. I watch my mirror and hold my breath as he comes up on my tail (oh, sounds a little fresh...) and cuts it hard to the left just a fraction of a second before slamming into my rearend (he, he, he - you can tell driving terminology was created by men), veering his car into the left lane narrowly missing my left fender and giving me a heart attack. Then I watch the guy do the same thing to three other cars before he is quickly out of sight.

I don't get this style of driving. There is no point behind it other than to scare the shit out of other drivers and to see just how close you can get to another car before swerving. It is like every other driver is an involuntary participant in an ongoing game of 75 mile per hour chicken. But then how come I get pulled over for speeding?

Oh my GOD, I just found what could become my new addiction. Maybe someone will get this for me for Christmas? Steph, you need to get it to prepare for Daytona!

I also spotted a few accidents on the way back from the farm on Sunday. One was a little Scion or something equally boxy and ugly, that had somehow gotten itself turned around facing into oncoming traffic while the passenger side was jammed up against the Jersey barrier. I saw two kids inside. The other car involved was a Lexus or Infiniti SUV sitting up ahead a ways as if nothing had happened, and I swear I saw a woman with blonde hair and perfect makeup in the driver's seat. I had to think this was a game of highway chicken gone terribly wrong. And guess who was the aficiando?

Stereotyping? Sure, maybe, but I am now beginning to understand the appeal of the SUV. And all the while muttering to myself - "where do these kids learn to drive these days?"